As a romantic comedy writer, and as someone who just celebrated her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, I suppose that might make it sound as if I’m an expert on romance and qualified to give advice on how to create more romance in your life for 2022. When I shared that with my husband he laughed, and I created romance in my relationship today by not throwing a pillow at him.
But for those of you who are open to some advice, here are my five tips for creating more romance in your relationship, especially if you’re in the midst of planning for a wedding:
Learn each other’s love languages.
Find out how you and your partner feel loved. Is it spending time together? Gifts? Kind words? Acts of service? Touch? This is extremely important. If your love languages differ, you have to meet each other halfway. Showing your partner that you understand how they feel loved and doing that for them is (for me) the epitome of romance
Kiss goodbye, kiss hello.
Checking in with one another when you leave for work and when you arrive home, having that physical, intimate connection even if it’s only for a moment or two, will strengthen your bond and make you feel more connected to one another.
Both for yourself and your relationship. You have to fill your own well before you can fill someone else’s. Do things that energize and relax you so that you can be present for your partner. And then make sure you have a date night. It’s so easy to get caught up in planning your wedding and work and everything else that you forget to dedicate time once a week to the person that you love. Nothing brings romance into your life like remembering to take time to date your partner!
Give a hundred percent of your attention.
When your partner is telling you something, whether it’s a story about their favorite reality TV show or their fantasy football league, listen. And by that I mean actively listen. Don’t scroll on your phone, stop texting, put down the remote. Make eye contact. Hold their hand. Nod. Make your partner feel heard. And tell them how much you appreciate them sharing things that matter with you.
Eliminate stress where you can.
I know that sounds easy enough, but are there areas in your life where you can hand the reins over to someone else? In my newest book, “The Paid Bridesmaid,” the heroine is a bridesmaid for hire who does whatever she can for the brides she works for to make their wedding days perfect. Are there things in your life where you can hire someone to take a burden from you? Consult with your spouse-to-be to see if there are ways to free up some time and get rid of some anxiety! Stress can be a relationship killer!
Romance isn’t just flower petals on the bed and flirty texts (although those things are awesome, too). Keeping real romance in your life is about connection and intimacy and focusing on those things can only improve your relationship.
USA Today bestselling author Sariah Wilson is the author of THE PAID BRIDESMAID (January 1, 2022; Montlake) and many other romantic comedy novels. She has never jumped out of an airplane, never climbed Mt. Everest, and is not a former CIA operative. She has, however, been madly, passionately in love with her soulmate and is a fervent believer in happily ever afters—which is why she writes romance. You can visit her at www.sariahwilson.com.
Visit our Wellness section for more sage advice on de-stressing & connecting while wedding planning.